Expect, but don’t feel entitled.

It will end in tears.lol.

First, I discovered from research that sense of entitlement is a personality trait. It is based on ones belief that they deserve privileges or recognition for things they did not earn. It’s a unmerited and unrealistic expectations of favourable conditions and treatment from others and an over-exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Dr John Townsend in his book “The entitlement cure” defines it in two beliefs;

• I am exempt from responsibility
• I am owed a special treatment

Honestly, there are a lot of entitled people everywhere, in friendships, family relationships etc. Matter of fact, a large number of people have a percentage of it depending on the circumstances or relationship but like every other thing, there are levels to it. Some feel more entitled that the others and it reflects in ones response to events and happenings preceding it.

For some it’s ingrained in their personality, the psychological sense of entitlement complex and in others it’s out of long-term fulfilled expectations that now seems deserved. Owing to it’s complexity, it reflects in different areas of life that can be psychologically discerned but this would be restricted to our relationships generally.

It’s almost impossible not to expect certain things from people depending on your relationship with them as humans, but you should not feel entitled. Aside the fact that it will likely end in tears, it could be damaging to the relationship. Look what Dr Steve Maraboli has to say;

In relationships, most times, we tend to feel entitled to the person of others, their time, gist about their lives, information etc. It emerges in poor attitudes, lack of empathy for ones impact on others. The problem with feeling entitled is the void it leaves when you are not accorded what you think you deserve.

As stated earlier, it’s almost impossible not to expect depending on your relationship with the other person, but if you can, lucky you. Like they say, lesser expectancy, lesser disappointment.

I came across this on Instagram;

It would be ridiculous to say he shouldn’t have expected anything on the relationship level, but legally speaking which he knew his friend owed him absolutely nothing because per contractual relationships, consideration was furnished for his service. But he was expectant and justifiably so, he had made sacrifices and contributions but still had his bubbles burst.

That goes to show that even when your expectations are justifiable it can still end in tears, because you are dealing with humans. You know what’s worse? It’s you feeling entitled.

Have you had to deal with people who feel entitled to your person, your time, gist about your life, money, patriachal lot who feel entitled to reverence, unearned privileges and have very high expectations from you? Or have you encountered the “don’t you know who I am?” “Even me?” people or people who just have an overall sense of deservingness

It’s an established fact that many have a hard time dealing with people like that, but they are not the only ones who suffer the effect. Entitled people have high expectations that often go unmet and leads to disappointment and psychological distress. That’s a vulnerable position to be in and you need to come out of it.

For the extreme ones, it’s a psychological problem called sense of entitlement complex and people in this category might need professional help. Here are some signs;

For others it develops out of heightened expectations depending on the relationship.

Tips to help if you always feel entitled

• Try to see things from the perspective of others, have you wondered why they didn’t give you that information, whether they had time or money etc
• Try promoting someone else other than yourself
• Change your wordings from “I deserve ” to “I’m responsible”
• Practice unlearning entitlement tendencies.

You know you are not entitled when you express gratitude for every favour you get, people’s time, information and privileges you enjoy from others not demanding them.

People with a sense of entitlement are too engrossed in deservingness to be grateful.

kalu Rejoice

Entitlement is a bubble that surrounds you and distorts your reality. Pop it as soon as you can and get back to the things that truly make a difference in your life

Paul Jun

Let’s end on a funny note, I saw this and I couldn’t resist;

I hope this was helpful if you are entitled or know someone who is. As always, the conversation continues in the comment section, have you had to deal with a sense of entitlement from others or use to have one yourself, how did you deal with it? Don’t forget to like comment share and subscribe lovelies ciao! https://www.reggiesspot.com/intimidated/