“Had I known always comes at last”. That’s a very popular saying and today I have seen it play out in my life. I was a victim of masturbation, holding onto the grudge and not forgiving myself, I turned into something worse. I became a prostitute, I forgot all mother’s wise words and all the good counsel I got from friends and church members.
I felt it was all over since I had ruined myself in such a disgusting manner. I decided to live a wayward life since I had nothing to lose. Today I am lying here very close to my death. I have contacted all manner of illness and I have no one to turn to. Tears rolling down my cheeks, I said “had I known I would have listened”. As I lay there waiting for the cold hands of death to take me away to the great beyond, memories flooded back.
My name is Gift a very beautiful and gorgeous lady. The first daughter of Ichie and Lolo Ezeaku. My parents had seven children and we all are girls. My parents trained us all to be responsible and respectful girls. They filled our lives with love and happiness, provided us with whatever we needed as long as it is within their reach.
I was filled with so much joy but little did I know that my doom was fast approaching. I started to connect with friends on every social media handle. I began to watch videos, comedy, movies and a whole lot of things. I saw it all as fun.
I was always looked up on as the first child and “Ada” of the family. I was expected to be up and doing at all times, take care of my sisters and be of my best behavior. Intelligent as I was, I always did well in school both primary and secondary. After my graduation from secondary school and wrote my JAMB exams and excelled, a new Android phone was bought for me.
One day I had watched this errotic music video all in the name of fun and with time I kept on watching it and got used to watching it. Till one day I found out that I was addicted to watching such kind of errotic videos and getting aroused. I was really confused and spoke to my sister Chika about it and she was so shocked. She gave me all the advice she could and asked me to pray about it.
Unfortunately it seemed to get worse. I wasn’t getting any better. Finally I summed up courage to talk to my mother about it. She couldn’t bear the news, she was very disappointed at me but she couldn’t abandon her child at that point. She made a resounding statement to me that day.
She said ” You have to make a decision, it’s not just about praying and discarding your phone or shedding tears. You have to make a strong resolve within yourself that you want to be a better person and that you want to lead a decent life no matter what it takes.” She made it very clear to me that it won’t be easy but I just have to face it head on.
She reminded me that I made a mess of myself and I will have to work hard to put my life back in order. Tears kept rolling down my eyes as I remembered all of this, how I wish I had made the decision to better, how I wish I didn’t quit that easily.
As I remniscensed over all this, my door creaked open and it was Chika my sister, Chika has always been very close to me though am older than her. We lost contact after I left home.
I couldn’t believe my eyes it seemed as if I was dreaming. Chika now looking so beautiful and a mother of two, coming close to where I lay and caressing me gently with tears in her eye and saying to me, you have been a gift to me and to our family, why you chose this path and this kind of life for yourself is something I fail to understand, but never the less I know that God loves you and he is willing to forgive you only if u decide now to let go.
Turning towards Chika, I have these few words to say to u and every other young girl out there. I made a big mistake that I haven’t even forgiven myself for. I thought that since I had already fallen into the temptation of masturbation that it was all over. Despite all the advice and warnings, I felt the deed has already been done and that I have been ruined for real. Today, when I look back at my life, I only wish I had listened and made the right decision.
So I tell you today Chika, no matter what mistake you have made or what situation you find yourself, don’t ever give up or allow the situation win over you. Whatever pain, misery, difficulty, you are passing through now, never you quit.
I quit but I have learnt my lesson and unfortunately for me it is already late. I enjoin you all today to fight and face your fears and tribulations head on because you are all God’s gifts to the world and you have a purpose to fulfill and you must do that.
After her words, Chika kissed her forehead and said “you will never be forgotten” then she slept.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ngozi Emilia is a 200 level law student. She’s a passionate singer and dancer. An inspirational writer, she has written another beautiful inspiring piece.