“My money is mine, his money is ours” philosophy

Hi guys!, thanks for clicking that link. Since it’s the first post of the month, I wish you all a Happy New month?, God bless you all.

First of all, if you haven’t heard the phrase in the title, kindly raise your hand in the comment section?, if you have, tell us where you saw or heard it first. For me, the first place I saw this phrase was in Awese Ugwu’s amazing book on financial education or freedom you might say; “The Smart Money Woman“, if you haven’t read it, I recommend it.

For the benefit of those who haven’t, one of the characters used the phrase in a girl’s gist about finances in relationships. Not being a party to the fifty-fifty fomular, she says “my money is my money, his money is our money” lol!. However, it seems that’s all a lot of persons (especially females I must say) held on to from the wealth of knowledge in that book and adopted it as a philosophy (you need to read the book to understand the context in which it was used) and as you can tell, it doesn’t go well with the male folks.

I have seen some bashing on social media following the philosophy, male folks don’t understand how a woman would want to be independent and spoiled at the same time. Some tag it indespoiled (wait…what??).

Unto the crux, first of all, people (females) who adopt the philosophy are not a party to the fifty-fifty campaign, that is not to say that they don’t want to be financially independent, they just don’t buy the fifty-fifty idea when it comes to money especially in relationships (that’s selfish to me if it’s just restricted to money matters?). If you are a member of this club, please comment below and tell us why; is it just the money aspect or generally, I’m a bit confused on behalf of the males because to many of them and in all sincerity the world isn’t fair yet. Feel free to air your views.

I have asked some of my female folks what they think about it and probably it’s a like-minds thing but they are non-subscribers so are the males (for obvious reasons?). With their permission I’ll share some;

In my opinion, it’s selfish if it’s restricted to money matters, it translates; while I want to have money and keep it to myself, I want you to have it and share it with me. If it’s a general worldview, that’s a different matter, otherwise, it’s simply parasitic

How about the symbiotic method, mutualism as some of us were taught in biology, how about both parties bring something to the table, each party benefits from the other. I am not a relationship expert but that is something that works in all human relationships, live and let live.

Can I be indespoiled?

As for male folks not understanding a woman wanting to be independent and spoiled, smearing the independent woman campaign, calm down y’all. It’s not that paradoxical. It’s just the fact that many of you feel left out or used in the “spoiling train” . If you are both financially independent and mutually enjoy the dividend, I don’t see the problem (my take). Again it doesn’t have to be a gender war all the time, I’m pretty sure there are men in this category too. It’s not a question of being male or female, work towards financial independence so that you don’t become a liability in any relationship.

A senior colleague of mine said something wise to this end which I would share here, he said;

” Above all, we must be decent people regardless of gender, we must embrace personal responsibility, discipline, perseverance and optimism, we must refuse pessimism, ingratitude and victimhood, we must respect people and even more so, those who deserve them. If half of the people are what they advocate, we may not need advocacy.”__Lota Udenta.

As usual, the conversation continues in the comment section, tell me what you think about the philosophy, don’t forget to like, comment, share and subscribe. I love you all, ciao!